I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
