Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
