At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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