Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
