i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
