well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
