I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
