I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
