More tranny stories later!
I just pynch a tree in the face
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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