Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
