eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
