he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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