He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's shark week go big or go home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
