I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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