i already hear my dad disowning me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
