just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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