i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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