That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
