I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
