That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
