There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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