So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
