Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
