He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
