He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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