I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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