i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
