I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just want to make out with him forever
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
