His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
