i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
