New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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