I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
