Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
