When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
