how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
