I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
