so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
