so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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