I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
