I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
