Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
