I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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