am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
