well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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