You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
