It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
