I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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