I wish my penis had an off switch
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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