I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found your dick twin last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
