A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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